I handled this news with what I would describe as "leveled grace". I used it as an opportunity to be honest not only with my husband, but also with me. I told him straight out that our day-to-day stress is getting difficult for me to deal with. If we are able to purchase our house, I will find the strength to continue in our marriage (can we say mommy-only space???). In the event we are forced to rent some place, I will be doing that with just myself and the children. I cannot add my husband's neurosis to the list of stresses that occur when renting. He had no response to this news.
Later this evening, I walked into the living room to discover my husband tearing apart our closet under the eves. When I inquired as to what he was doing (though my mind was mostly focused on the undoing of all my work I had done cleaning up after the kids), he replied with "I'm looking for my sleeping bag so I can see what I'll be sleeping on for the rest of my life."
Now, this must be a joke, right? Wrong. Apparently in my husband's silence to my news, the cogs were turning. He refuses to get a place just for himself. Parish the thought he has to maintain a place on his own. He makes a feeble attempt to attribute this decision to the welfare of the children and myself. I am not convinced. He wants to live in people's backyards so the children and I are better off? I do not see a connection here. I view this as yet another case where he wants me to agree with his stupidity. He wants me to change my mind. To weaken in my stance for freedom from stress.
My response to this took much inner strength. So badly I wanted to say "Are you kidding? Quit being such an adult baby." Instead, I found it in myself to say "You need to make the best choice for you." You know what? I actually meant it. I have removed myself from his situation and feel no guilt, anger, or overall hostility.
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